Dual....:-)
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
