I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
