Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize