i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
its not stalking. its research.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
