He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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