I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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