make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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