...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
