i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
