you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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