If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
