Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
