why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
