Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
