how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
