Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
