i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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