I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
