His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
my liver is dry heaving
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
