Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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