p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
