ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
