My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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