ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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