It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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