ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
