Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
