i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
