they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
