this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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