he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
