So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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