You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
