for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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