I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize