Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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