just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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