i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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