Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
