you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
