so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
