you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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