ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
