I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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