he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
