12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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