do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
