Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
