dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
