When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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