oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
