What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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