Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
