Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
