hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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