Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
