I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
only you would photoshop your dick
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
