When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
