I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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