Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
