Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
