My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
