what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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