you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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