I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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