first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
