as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
