Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Are we still banned from the library?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
