I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
