People in love make me want to vomit
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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