she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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