Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
