don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
PANTIES FOUND
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