I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
