You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
