Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
