Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
