I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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